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Famine, flooding, wildfire and drought are just a selection of the delights that await us if global warming is not kept below 1. Not Woodtidge mention that, in cases where said shagging leads to a newborn, you're automatically responsible for almost 60 extra tonnes of CO2 emissions a year. So, the best thing might be … fucking.

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But apparently you have to put a condom over a courgette before you stick it up your fanny, which seems like a waste of a single-use condom, and a perfectly good vegetable.

So, drenched in climate anxiety but also a little horny, I dove deep into sustainable masturbation, finding some of the best eco-friendly sex toys out.

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After stringent testing, I awarded each toy a green eggplant emoji rating out of five, taking into account both eco-friendliness and orgasm efficiency. Lelo, WeVibe and countless other sex toy brands also produce silicone, rechargeable sex toys.

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